REMEMBERING YOU, MOM...

I remember your laughter, how you’d smile mischievously and then the smile would broaden and then burst into peels of laughter. I remember your quietness, how you’d go so far away in your thoughts with a lost look in your eyes. I never knew what you thought of or what you saw in your visions, I was just glad to see a silent reassurance in your smile when I called out for you.

I remember your anger, how you’d all of a sudden go so silent on me. No word spoken or any frustrations shown just complete silence even when serving out the dinner to me. I remember your disappointments, how you’d try to still be a part of my changing life which had somehow outgrown your need in everything. You would still be there, telling me about your day and hoping I share about mine but be left disappointed every other time.

I remember your strength, how you would without a trace of worry in your face go about things bravely even in the most vulnerable times. I never knew it until the day I was a witness to it. You must be glad to know perhaps how much of that strength sister has imbibed from you. There is so much of you in her. She's making you and all of us proud.

I remember your fear, how you held onto me once and told me how afraid you were of what would happen to you. I was ill-prepared to react. That was the first time I realized you were not as strong as you’d show to us. I was scared to know that here was someone whose mere presence drove all my nightmares away and even she had fears. It was one of those rare moments when I came to realize that you were after all human with all the emotions and feelings a human could feel. It was one of those days when I realized that you too needed to be held, to be heard, to be seen, to be hugged, to be pampered, to be spoiled and to be sometimes chided and teased as well.

I hope and pray, god is pampering and spoiling you up there. Don’t be sad or worry if you see us missing you once in a while. We need those moments to feel your presence in our lives. Even though we know you’d always be there with your arms around our shoulders, guiding us and letting us know we will be fine.


Love