It's been a while mom since the last time I talked with you, at least on the web. It has been some few weeks of deliberation and confusion. A lot has happened in the meantime. Life hardly ever waits for us to catch up with it, no matter if we feel utterly helpless to move ahead and are too tired to continue walking and need few moments of rest. It just goes way ahead and after our moments of rest we really need to run after it to catch up with it.
For most part the pace of life has been slow for me since I landed back home. It feels somehow strange to use the term home anymore for the place that I live in. Cannot make myself feel at home, ever. I miss being comfortable and being at ease or simply free in mind and in body when I am here. There's always this feeling of being someone else or trying to fit into the frame of someone I need to be when I am here. Yet I am trying to do my own thing and keep my peace with it.
This trip has helped me in bits and pieces. Now all I am hoping for is for these random looking pieces to come together and form a meaning.
I have been worried about sister and her well-being for quite sometime now. And she's not really doing well, so I am just hoping she gets better soon. But then again I think it is not just exhaustion of the work rather of being all alone, and in an alien country. She misses being the way we were - you, me, brother, sister and dad - when we were young and even when we were growing up. Life wasn't easy even then but at least there was a sense of peace within, a sense of being.
Now we are just scattered islands looking for the perfect shore from where we seem to have drifted afar and all that we can truly hope for is to at least not lose touch with each other, no matter how different our world really becomes.
We are three different people. That has been very much evident from our childhood days. Our set of priorities to some extend has also been different. One thing which we continue to have is our love for each other, even if that love hurts us sometimes in ways unimaginable. So, today as I write this, I pray to God and need your help to keep this love between us alive and let it guide us in our lives to wherever that we are meant to go.
Missing you mom a lot. Though so many things has changed around here. You are so much a part of everything out here that I hardly have to think hard to feel your presence.
Love
For most part the pace of life has been slow for me since I landed back home. It feels somehow strange to use the term home anymore for the place that I live in. Cannot make myself feel at home, ever. I miss being comfortable and being at ease or simply free in mind and in body when I am here. There's always this feeling of being someone else or trying to fit into the frame of someone I need to be when I am here. Yet I am trying to do my own thing and keep my peace with it.
This trip has helped me in bits and pieces. Now all I am hoping for is for these random looking pieces to come together and form a meaning.
I have been worried about sister and her well-being for quite sometime now. And she's not really doing well, so I am just hoping she gets better soon. But then again I think it is not just exhaustion of the work rather of being all alone, and in an alien country. She misses being the way we were - you, me, brother, sister and dad - when we were young and even when we were growing up. Life wasn't easy even then but at least there was a sense of peace within, a sense of being.
Now we are just scattered islands looking for the perfect shore from where we seem to have drifted afar and all that we can truly hope for is to at least not lose touch with each other, no matter how different our world really becomes.
We are three different people. That has been very much evident from our childhood days. Our set of priorities to some extend has also been different. One thing which we continue to have is our love for each other, even if that love hurts us sometimes in ways unimaginable. So, today as I write this, I pray to God and need your help to keep this love between us alive and let it guide us in our lives to wherever that we are meant to go.
Missing you mom a lot. Though so many things has changed around here. You are so much a part of everything out here that I hardly have to think hard to feel your presence.
Love
