May 27, 2010

THURSDAY, 27th MAY

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I am listening to my favourite songs, sitting in my room and writing down notes and poems and I thought of you, so decided to let you know. I have always been some kind of a loner. I guess you already know. I loved having my own room contended in my own small world. Ever since we moved to our own house and I got a separate room, no matter how small it was, I was really happy about it, especially after having shared a room with sister all the while and with a whole lot of cousins and aunts back in the village.

I can clearly see the room: wooden bed with traditionally embroidered mosquito net, wooden clothe-hanger, a cupboard-cum-table, a Phillips auto-reversal tape recorder, a black table lamp, a book-shelf and my stationery. And of course the window which opened up to the main gate outside. I have spent so many hours sitting by the window, looking out while listening to songs on the radio, trying to tie down thoughts and ideas on paper, and waiting for you to come home from your shopping bringing some jalebis or samosas depending on the popular demand of the evening. The moment you come, we'd all go rushing out taking the bags of vegetables and all with us inside. After giving you a glass of water, we would go through the articles, keeping them in their proper places. In the meantime, either sister or I would prepare the evening tea to be had with our samosas or coconut biscuits.

Evenings really were the best time of the day. A time when everyone was at home. We were back from school or college. Father was back from his office. And you were back from a visit to the neighbour down the road or aunties near the market with the shopping articles. Sister would narrate her day in detail right from the time she reached school to the classes and classmates, what all she did and what all others said to her. While brother and I narrated the summary of our day, and sometimes just the headlines. I miss those chaotic evenings more harmonious than the silence of the evenings which sometimes come visiting these days. I haven't had jalebis or samosas in a long time. I think I will have some this evening, even if all alone. You would be there, wouldn't you?

Love

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Note On The Blog

Life is not easy. It is far more difficult to live when you lose someone as close to you as your mom. There are times, more often than not, when you miss her so much so that it becomes hard to believe in everything else still living around you. Times when you need to say and share things, as simple as how your day went by and what all you did. Times when you need a hug or a kiss to console and comfort you that it's okay. Times when your happiness and joy would make so much more sense if she were there. Times when just her presence, knowing she is there, is reassuring enough to battle any nightmares. There are so many things bundled up in our hearts waiting to be told. So, I will write them down today and every other day when I need to talk to you, dear mom.
 
 

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