FUNNY RECOLLECTIONS

After so many months, almost two years, I am writing to you again. My friend told me today that she had found this blog and read through the entries and cried. It has been a couple of months since she lost her dad and I can somehow sense what she might have felt going through what I have written to you here.  I went through some of the things I have written to you and I just realized that maybe you are feeling sad too reading them. I don't try to be sad or depressing but your memory has over time been so inseparably linked to thought of loss that it just makes me feel sad and I cannot think of anything light-hearted to share with you. But today as she told me about it, I felt that...

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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MAMMA!

I remember the last time I wished you. How you just went to your room and crawled up on the bed and turned away from me when I sat down beside you. You said: "It's all a waste of time and money. I am not a child anymore and you are not a kid either." It hurt me, so I just left feeling bitter and a little mad. I had wished then sitting in my room. "I should have shown more often how much I loved and cared." Love without an expression is the most selfish of love. Things changed after that day. I hugged you more. I kissed you more. I sat down with you and had our little conversations, especially during lunch or dinner. I still remember how you would always wait for me to come back home from...

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REMEMBERING YOU, MOM...

I remember your laughter, how you’d smile mischievously and then the smile would broaden and then burst into peels of laughter. I remember your quietness, how you’d go so far away in your thoughts with a lost look in your eyes. I never knew what you thought of or what you saw in your visions, I was just glad to see a silent reassurance in your smile when I called out for you. I remember your anger, how you’d all of a sudden go so silent on me. No word spoken or any frustrations shown just complete silence even when serving out the dinner to me. I remember your disappointments, how you’d try to still be a part of my changing life which had somehow outgrown your need in everything. You would...

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To Mom And All The Women In My Life...

I learned love, I learned patience, I learned silence, I learned strength... I learned all that is good in me from the women in my life. There were few good men too, who showed the harsh realities and opened my eyes to the world outside of me. Men live looking outside in. Women live looking inside out. Different perspectives and different lessons learned. As I sit down and think about all the women in my life - from my mom and sister to all the friends and the rest - I can clearly say I have met many different personalities. But deep down somehow they are all the same, when they love you, they really truly love you. If their whole heart is in something, they give it their all. I have been...

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तेरे बगैर.. माँ (Without You, Mother)

कई सिरहाने बदले है मैंने पर वो सुकून कही मिला नहीं जो तेरे गोद में सर रख कर सोने से मिलता था, माँ... देखते है, सुनते है अंगिनत किस्से-कहानियाँ उनपर मगर अब यक़ीन कम होता है वो बचपन की तेरी एक राजा और एक रानी की कहानी अब भी सच्ची लगती है, माँ... डर जाता हूँ, मैं सहम जाता हूँ जब भी बुरा सपना कोई आँखों को ढूंढ़ लेता है तू दौड़ के आएगी सहलाने मुझे पल भर को ये उम्मीद रहता है, माँ... कई बार की है कोशिश लेकिन चुटकियों से मात खा जाता हूँ मीठे का मिठास, नमकीन का नमक अंदाजों में घुल जाते है जुबां पर अब भी ठहरा है मेरे वो स्वाद तेरे हाथों का, माँ... दिल को बहलाने के बहाने कई है मगर ऐसा कोई मिला नहीं जो तेरी तरह तेरी कमी को मिटा सके जैसे टूटे खिलौनों के रोने पर तेरे एक छूने से मेरी हँसी जुड़ जाती थी,...

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OF MY MOTHER'S FOOD & KNITTING

Last night, as I curled up in my bed, with blocked nose and headache, more than your soft and tender touch, I was missing something else about you. I was missing eating the food you used to make. It struck so deep and so sudden - the realisation that I will never be able to taste anything made by you. I can still eat the things you loved to cook and the things you loved to eat. But it's never the same. Even the most simple dish I treasure like a mad, hungry man who never had anything to eat at all. I guess I never thought I could be or would ever be emotional about food. I know I am. I can now completely understand why sister follows the same methods as you did while cooking. She makes sure...

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NUNGSHIBI - OUR ADORABLE PUPPY

I have to tell you about Nungshibi. I completely forgot. She was a month old puppy when brother brought her in on his way back from office. She was injured, bitten by another dog and the only one among her siblings to survive. The same day sister and I had come back from Shillong and we were so surprised to see her. She was really hurting and in a really bad condition. Sister, who always wanted us to have a pet at home, was ecstatic. But brother spoiled her excitement somehow when he said he is just getting her cured and then letting her go. Weeks passed and I was taking care of her, washing her wounds and bathing her, cleaning her mess and feeding her. Sister would keep on pleading...

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